‘Beddy Bugs’

This is, believe it or not, an Art Installation. It has been especially commissioned and created for the Tate Modern ZeitGeist Exhibition entitled ‘Beddy Bugs of the Post-Prelapsarian Apocalpyse’

It can be seen to be an elaboration, an enlargement, and perhaps even an exaggeration, of the duvet dining ‘slovenly pleasures’ concept first conceived by Tracey Emin’s “My Bed” artwork of 1998.

What would at first seem to be a messy melange of random ephemera is actually a carefully constructed conceptual convergence or interactive immersion or nonperformative “experience”.

The ‘Happening’ has taken the UK Art World by storm, receiving a plethora of gushing and glowing reviews from numerous bigheads in the known.

Critical Reception:
“A tasteful (and tasty) displacement of splutterings, splashings, splodges, and spillages” (Windyfarts Flabbichopchap, Daily Obscure Review)

“These ad hoc assemblages have all been quixotically arranged to give the impression of an intricately orchestrated confusion of spontaneous combustion” (Brain Sewerage, from a Louche cloud in Limbo RIP)

“The transmogrification of torpor into languorous states of exquisite ennui are simply benign” (Tumperflake Wertenfaker on BBC Radio 14’s Mumbo Jumbo Review)

“To see “Beddy-Bugs” is to gloriously re-affirm bed-life as one long lying down” (Maffphew Collywobbles, on Channel Dive)

“A sumptuous celebration of the delimits of Horizontality” (Willy Glumpartz for BBC 2 Snoozenight)

“A thrillingly reductive take on pre-conscious post-modern minimalism” (Edward Snooty-Prig, The London Elitist Review)

“It expunges the tyranny of the vertical life” (Carter Partington-Pinge, Rococo Rot Review)

“This fertile confabulation of faff is both farcical and shockingly disturbing” (Kirsty Egg-Nog, ArtSnatch Review)

“A tour de force take on the virtues of slobbery and slumber lived in extremis” (Nicolaus Perversesneer, Arsethetica Magazine)

“Turning crisps into crumbs into crumps has never been so slovenly!” (Nigella Glammerper, BBC Food Magazine) (not an art critic as such, but apparently knows plenty about licking tasty morsels off her fingers, while in bed) (on her back)

This revolutionary, not to say revelatory, Meisterwerk is still very much a process piece in progress. In other words – they (the co-prones you see in the drawing above) ain’t finished making them messes yet. No doubt “Beddy Bugs” will undergo further development as the weeks/months/years slide by.

For those of you interested in how this processual piece was created here is the typical menu
Tea; Tea (with BadBiscuits) ; Tea; CiabbataToast & YorkshireBrew;
Breakfast: FriedFatBreads & BondageBacon &/or WarmSausage &/or MoltenMushes &/or ErogenousEggs; plus Codpieces of thick Spermatozoa; Coffee (laced with evaporatedlactations or quick jet of double cream from a fresh Jersey cow)
Brunch: Jizzyjam sandwiches buttered with kisses.
Lunch: Chunkychips dipped in Mayo; SunkenSpungePud; SpicedTartlets
Afternoon Tea: Steamyscones, &/or hot sluttered Crumpet, &/or fruity Kisscake.
Fountained straight from Hot – underground – Spring: sparkles of Goldengush Faerie Liquid.
Supper: SucculentBreasts &/or StockingedThighs of Roasted Flange, with PervyPeas, DevonDumplings & Gushygravy); Desert: Spotted Dick with CreamyCustard, &/or StickyLicked ChocolateFingers
Snacks: Super Sea-Salted Crisps, with special Salt-Sea-Foamy Dip; Snickers, ChoccyLiquors, KinkyHoolaHoops.

Fruit: Plummyplumplumcious, Chilledcherrynipples, a Bigbanana & the like) & Nuts (of the Monkeynut & ‘Other’ unknown variety)
Topped off with Slowlysuckedsoftmarshmallows

All to be sensually consumed, imbibed, decanted, tipped over, smeared and stuck into within the time allocated (usually to be no less than 24 hours at any one sitting lying prone)

The ‘immersive’ Installation will be concluded with a 3 hour session of ‘Vigorous Hoovering’.

Artists-in-Residence: (& co-creators of “Beddy Bugs”)
Watt Nibblebits and Bellaluga Blown; co-founders of the new Non-Movement of contemporary artists collectively known as Static Situationalists.

Needless to say you will find them – in bed – every Saturday. They live in that bed. Not virtually. Or literally. But really.

They are planning a sensational follow-up sometime next Autumn. But are being somewhat coy about what will be revealed. Although Watt and Bellaluga have both been quoted as saying (or whispering):

“Wait till you see what lives, grows, flows, and gushes – beneath the bed sheets!”