Chinky Free faw Afternoon Tee (Hee)

“Herrow evilbladdy” say Pong Pong Poo
“Herrow evilibladdy” say Yum Yum Yoo
“Hey! I jus say tha” say Pong Pong Poo
“Herrow evilibladdy” say Ching Chong Chok
“Hey! I jus say tha” say Yum Yum Yoo
“Doan be a plare o clopiclat!” say Pong Pong Poo

“Yoo stink”! say Yum Yum Yoo to Pong Pong Poo
“I stink good” say Pong Pong Poo, “Iddo mi flavlit pler fume”
“Waddo id call?” axe Ching Chong Chok
“Iddo call “Cato-Armpippnipp”” say Pong Pong Poo, “Iddo maken slexy laddee velli ill- ee- zist- a- bul!”
“Yaah – geddo evilee Tomcat Dick miaow miaooowin!” snigga Ching Chong Chok
“Iddo giv evilee purri pussy X flactor slex smell” say Pong Pong Poo
“Waddo evilee nice ladee reely rike is a biggo slice o thi fulfat Chok Clake I make!” say Ching Chong Chok
“Wi nice hot plot o Stinky Chinky tee!” say Yum Yum Yoo
“Hee! Hee! Tee! Hee! Tee! Hee!” laff Pong Pong Poo
“Hee! Hee! Tee! Hee! Tee! Hee!” laff Yum Yum Yoo
“Hey! I jus laff like tha” say Pong Pong Poo
“Hee! Hee! Tee! Hee! Tee! Hee!” laff Ching Chong Chok
“Hey! I jus laff like tha” say Yum Yum Yoo
“Doan be a plare o clopiclat!” say Pong Pong Poo

Repee an cloppy
Repee an cloppy
For nextoe free hour

(Or until tee fini) (fink Yum Yum Yoo)
(Or chok clake fini) (fink Ching Chong Chok)
(Or mi armpip stardo tu expire) (fink Pong Pong Poo)

Feng Flactoree wishen yoo “Nice Blurfdayee” Laydee Blooow!

Here isa gleetin from Feng Flactoree (Manuflactchora ofa fammuss Ding Dong PenG!)

Fah Ti Bum.…. “we maken    Wi Le Pee….”allo Inko”       Fan Qu Tu….. “fo yor”   Tin Tin Tong…… “penG”      See Di Rom…..”ano wubben”       Shi Tin Poo…..”nib sof ”      Ha Do Li…… ” so iddo”      Go Wi Flo…… “moove smooven”      Bin Gon Long…..” ona plapa”        Wam Bam Man.…..”wen stroke”       He Be Je.…..”ana feelen”        Di Di Da…..” loven lee”     Wen Tu Go…….”wen yoo”      Wing Fli Fa.…..”dlawin yo”       Sun Ni Li ….. “mavawuss”         Pee Ka So….” plictur ”            Si Li Mu…. “missus”       Ha Pee Li.… “nice”     Hu Ni Bun…. “laydee”         See Yu Soon….. “BlooOw”!!

Ding Dong……. “Eva lee blady sINGO afta”…..  Ma…..”One”…   “ana Too!”…… “ana Flee!!”

“HAPP EE BLURFDAYEE DEER LAYDEE BLOOOW…. HAPP EE BLURFDAYEE TOO YOO!!!!”

Ma (screaming)…”Alloo yooo -. stardo Crappin!! – NOW!!” “Ano tha meen yoo too SHi Tin Poo!!!”

(Follows an outblake of spotaneeuss appplorss)

Ma in porn clacker nirvana

Herrow eva lee blady! Idda Ding Dong Ma here agane.

I bean velli gud meadow tatter – see!

Iddo maken mine mine haven no flustrate nor illitashun. No ploblem inno mine mine. Nah. Easilee peesilee is bes nice way.

Issa espesch nicen wen I doo wi nicen bludda boys. They shit liken baldi blabees – Awww! Fo liddle ol Ma.

See how wi smilen! Wi noddo noddin off. We allo feelin at One wi a gloddoflisch. Empflaflee ana emptilee.

Mak lik a gloddoflisch mine. Gorpin.

Zero inna hero. No Zen then. Tao now. Do Dao.

Ina Baldi Blubble Bludda Bliss.

Wile sucken ona porn clacker (sucken, no crunchen. Tha bad fo consantrayshun. Godda be qwio kwoit – kee big muff shut)

Easilee peesilee is bes nice way.

Kee blowin O o o o o o….. indo…. O m m m m m…… Yaaah!!

Blye blye eva lee blady! Mak lik a flisch!

Ding Dong Ma isa Reraxin

Herrow eva ri blady. Suplise Suplise!
Yaahh!! It Ding Dong Feng liddl ol Ma here.
I gonno Tiblet to ge sum pleece.
Meddo taterin ina PoTato Plaliss.
Wi a blig fa Bluddiss Monk ey.
He tellin me to mine mi bleff.
I shittin ana reraxin reel nice.
Finkin abou yoo bak ina flactoree Ding Dong! (worken ard fo yor Ma i ope)
Finkin abou yoo too wif (Yaah yoo Miss Bloown!) (dwawin loddo plictur fo mi)
Iddo sooo nice – to be nice.
Chiwwillin ou.
Wi mi blig fa Bludda Boy Flen.
He gonno showen mi extro spesh reraxin meddo taterin. In plivit. How to blo into his bleff or sumfin. Ohh Yaahh!!!
Chee a wee o eva ri blady!!

Miss Bloown cooken a flish n’ chlip

So Ding Dong Feng has invited his wif Miss Bloown to Beijing to meet his family.

A nice Ingliss wif mus brin ova froma Ingalan nice Ingliss goodie for Famawee Feng.

Espesh a nice BIG tewwiwishun for Ding Dong’s lickle ol Ma.

So eva wi wan can wach a how to maken the famuss Ingliss Flish ‘n Chlip.

Alla yoo kiddo – shit dow ana pay attenshun! Thi is velli importan (screem Ding Dong Ma)

And nah nice Ingliss wif isa cooken Flish ‘n Chlip fo eva ree bady!

Yum Yum – sayen eva ree wan of Famawee Feng.

We wanna be liken a Ingliss wif….. She velli gowjuss ladee.

She mavawuss chleff ofa Flish ‘n Chlip. Dewishuss!

Miss Bloown – we velli mooch liken yoo can stay ana liven here nah wi Famawee Feng.

Ana cooko Flish ‘n Chlip for uss eva wee day Missus! Pweese?!

Schloppin ina Riddls

This morning Miss Bloown is out shopping in Lidls supermarket. She encounters a very fat man. Outside a Monsoon is blowing.

Miss Bloown: Mee velly wet.. inside cloe too!!
First person I see in Riddles.. A Chinki man..
fowwoo me round ona twollee.. an at till…
finkin message in here somewhere !

Ding Dong: He mi brovva Ding Dung! . .
He a chekin yoo out fo mi . .
Hiss mess age wa he say yoo velly gowjuss . . .
I say wa abaht amonee? . . . He say . . She a godda non!

Miss Bloown: Godda no monee now.. spend it all on lotta bag ob lice in Riddles..
He velly fat bruvva that Ding Dung.. Mee not like hee folloow me..
Noseee pong!

Ding Dong: Yah he pong do Dung . .
tha why he ina Inglan stinkin aplace ou . .
an he velly mutch liken a Ingliss food . .
cripps ana slossij rollll ana flishflingererr ana licelolli ana whitobled ana schleephard pi wi a glavee.
It why he goddo velly velly fat!

Mr Ding Dong Feng Famawee!

Mr Ding Dong Feng has been in continual daily contact with Haze. He is a very solicitous gentleman. And by “solicitous gentleman” I don’t mean a Chinese iriot pest.

Ding Dong: Ding Dong velly happy chap you liken his bes pen . . . jus for you missus! . .

Miss Bloown: Bargins.. bargins.. everywhere Mr Ding Dong.. you send us all good cheep fings.. I luff yoo werry mooch Mr Feng

Ding Dong: Use you eye good . . Looken for bargin! . . Like cheapo cheeki chinki see! . . My ma say i godda call yoo Mrs Ding Dong . . . Yoo my wif na see . . Yoo loven me an all tha….

Ding Dong: Gedda bargins! . . Quick gedda bargins!! . . . My ma say she wanna flat screen telli . . . . Go on my darwin . . . I make yoo more nice pen! . . .
Miss Bloown: Mr Ding…..you come over here..be my usbind and open Chinese takeaway…make pens on Saturdays…?
Ding Dong: I bring ova all my famawee to live in yoo fla yeah? . . . We needa lest 15 bedroom . . . An big kitchin . . . For choppin all them bladee wegitabul…. an tha….
Miss Bloown: I hope yoo can understand how I speak Mr Ding?
Ding Dong: Yoo Ingliss isa luvalee! . . . Hey isa any Chinki in yoo Torki? . . We dona wan ovva Chinki . . My big bruvva a velly angri man see…..
Miss Bloown: Yes, many Chinki in Torki Mr Ding.. many chopsuey eating places.. you like that?
Ding Dong: Baaaad! . . . Godda nuff Chinki here! . . . I onwi wan nice Ingliss peeple ana nice Ingliss girl liken yoo my darwin! . . . Wi lodda money baby . . . For maken Ding Dong velli happi Chinki chappi . . . Yaaaah!! . . .

Miss Bloown has whizzed over a Feng Family Picture. It was very much a likeness. Each and every one. Like. The other.

Ding Dong: Fank for dwawin of me . . Anna all mi famawee. Ow yoo no wa i looken like?! . . .How yoo no wa mi blovvas ana slisters ana kiddos looken like? It bledee mavawuss!! My ma putten dwawin ona wall . . She velly pleese. . . She gonna maken yoo a velly spesh pen . . usen fevva from ducks bottum . . . Ah yaah! . . . yoo gonna liken it bloown ladee!

Ding Dong: I ope i not be in a stoopit iriot  – well plobablee . . . Bu not ness a celery . . . I maken yoo pen wi happi in it . . . Yaaah! .
Miss Bloown: Yes pleese .. and you not a stupid iriot.. you are the BIGGEST CUDDLY CHINKY CHUNKY CHERISHABLE CHUBBLEY MAN.. in the whole world… pleese make more pens for me…
Ding Dong: Ding dong godda a toodle noodle off nah . . . Bye beautiful lady missus… I loven yoo….. Ana so doo alla mi famawee….

Wee alla cumin a see yoo soon… Ah yaaah!!… Chee awi o!

Ding Dong Feng send pen

Haze has some whizzo new Micron pens from China to draw with. Sent this week from Mr Ding Dong Feng. A very conscientious maker of pens he is. He was sending H messages to make sure she was happy with pen.

Ding Dong Feng: I ope yoo liken pen . .  Yoo be dwawin velly gud mis Bwown . . . I ope yoo bye more my pen . . . Yor sincewee . . Mr Ding Dong Feng . . . I not kissen yoo . . . :-):-)):-]:-D . . . These woz cheeki chinkies

Miss Bwown: Dear mr ding dong bell…sorry..feng shwai…I’m hoping your amazing pens will last for a million years…I gotta lotta drawrin to do..for Mr Nizz…I hope your cheeki chinkies will be very happy..making more pens……?? B-)B-)B-)B-)B-)B-)B-)

Ding Dong Feng: Cheeki chinkies is makin yor nex bes pen wite now . . . Makin yoo dwawin mavawuss cheeki chinkie chappees lik mee! . .   . . Sowwy for paw ingliss my fwend .  . Ding Dong FENG . . I vewi lik yoo Bwown i doo

Miss Bwown: Making me laugh out loud…my gorgeous you bits!  Love it! I’m just about to send you  nooo drawwin. When is a good time to ring you baby?…

Ding Dong Feng: You cud wing me ona ding dong a 10 45? . . . Still maKen mor pen for Bwown . .