Schloppin ina Riddls

This morning Miss Bloown is out shopping in Lidls supermarket. She encounters a very fat man. Outside a Monsoon is blowing.

Miss Bloown: Mee velly wet.. inside cloe too!!
First person I see in Riddles.. A Chinki man..
fowwoo me round ona twollee.. an at till…
finkin message in here somewhere !

Ding Dong: He mi brovva Ding Dung! . .
He a chekin yoo out fo mi . .
Hiss mess age wa he say yoo velly gowjuss . . .
I say wa abaht amonee? . . . He say . . She a godda non!

Miss Bloown: Godda no monee now.. spend it all on lotta bag ob lice in Riddles..
He velly fat bruvva that Ding Dung.. Mee not like hee folloow me..
Noseee pong!

Ding Dong: Yah he pong do Dung . .
tha why he ina Inglan stinkin aplace ou . .
an he velly mutch liken a Ingliss food . .
cripps ana slossij rollll ana flishflingererr ana licelolli ana whitobled ana schleephard pi wi a glavee.
It why he goddo velly velly fat!